Two days.  Two agonizing days.  Screaming, crying, cranky, chapped cheeks, low fever, flushed lips, etc...  My baby girl is cutting teeth.  Long story short, I ended up taking her to the doctor because the fever was throwing my mommy instincts off.  I knew it was primarily teething but I also suspected an ear infection.  I was wrong.  She's a perfectly healthy teething baby.  Not only is she in agonizing pain, her crying is causing my two and four year olds anxiety and they are acting out.  It's a no win situation.  One I've been in time and time again as a mom.  Just gotta love them with everything I have and keep plugging along.

On the drive home from the doctor I reached for my sunglasses and put them on.  They of course were covered in little finger prints.  I considered grabbing the bottom of my shirt and attempting to clean them up at a stop light but I decided there's no point.  That's just how life is right now: attempting to see things through the fog.  Fog of motherhood.  Fog of lack of sleep.  Fog of life.  Just.... the fog.  I've stopped trying to see through it.  I've learned to live with the fog.  Now don't get me wrong, the fog isn't necessarily a bad place.  Another word for it is Calm.  I've found my calm place in this life of chaos.  Yes, I said it.... chaos.  When do I need to sign the big kids up for gymnastics?  When is school orientation?  When is the baby's next well check?  The baby might have an ear infection, rush to the doctor because they only have 1 opening for the next several days. Suddenly Gwen has no pants that are long enough.  Time to shop for school clothes.  Working in my job that I do from home with every single milisecond I have that is free so that we CAN buy them new clothes and shoes and pay the baby's mounds of medical bills (preemie, 26 days in NICU).  THAT chaos.  Oh yeah, I need to shower.  I need to eat.  I need to just breathe sometimes.  But then I remembered as I was wearing those sunglasses that I'm in the stage of the fog.  Where my needs are in the distance and there are tiny finger prints in clear sight.  Why didn't I clean off the glasses?  Because I wouldn't change my life for anything.  I left them as a reminder to myself that it won't be like this forever.  As sudden as the fog came upon me, the fog will lift and I will be wanting these times back.  Not too long ago I longed to find the end of the fog.  I longed for the next stage where the kids would be "easier" but who am I kidding?!  My kids ARE easy!  They are well behaved, or rather...  behave appropriately for each of their ages in any given circumstance.  Sure they fight like cats and dogs but they are doing so while playing together instead of having their faces stuck to a screen.  They are not picky eaters.  They are perfect.  Just the way they are.  Absolutely perfect in THIS stage.  So maybe someday soon I will wipe off those sunglasses and disinfect the counters and mop the floors but right now...  what's the point.  Welcome to the Fog where it's ok to just... be.